Lucky Break.

My personalised portfolio, front cover.

Ta-Dah! My portfolio's finally finished, well the vessel anyway. But first impressions and all that eh.
After much research into the world of highly expensive portfolios, I decided that in order to best represent my work I would either have to fork out for a leather bound portfolio or customise a wooden one. I found this A4, refillable, book-style portfolio on Etsy after Lorgie was recommended to me via social networking site Tumblr. Run by a lady called Kamma and based in Fremantle, Australia, Lorgie makes all custom folio's out of 'satin-eco-varnish' covered pine, fixed with faux leather bindings and nickel screw posts. Although the price of the portfolio includes a typographical customisation I chose to order mine as blank, I'd already hatched plans for both covers. The quality exceeded the price in my opinion and it arrived in good time, and perfect condition with no extra shipping charges.

Now, earlier on in the year I took part in a workshop at a local Laser studio where I met Cai, the brawn, brains and beauty behind LaserLea. I've mentioned previously on my blog how beneficial the experience so I jumped at the chance to get a really personal piece crafted with the help of Cai. After getting in contact with her I hand-drew my designs ready to be bit-mapped and checked. The Wishbone is very symbolic to me; representing luck, tradition and a strong bonds. I have a full and broken wishbone tattooed on each arm to signify hope and closure, wishing for better times and the realisation that I no longer needed 'luck' to get where I wanted to be. So, my portfolio physically represents me and the work inside projects me mentally.

Left: Front Cover, Right: Back Cover.

Another thankyou to Cai at LaserLea, for being lovely as usual.

Four Sharp Knocks: Lino, Ain't It Lovely.

Lino print over oppositional photographic material.

 Ok, the picture above, was a second thought when experimenting with lino. In hindsight I now regret not delving deeper into using photographs as the foundation when printing, especially when adapting the actual lino cut to reveal or disguise elements of the photograph.

Daily Carry.

You do the math.

In regards to the process, I couldn't seem to get my head around the back-to-front preparation when cutting the design into the lino, at least not without spending a good half an hour studying incoherent doodles from the day before. Once I'd made enough initial copies to reassure myself nothing could go wrong, the repetitiveness of the printing procedure was actually cathartic. Using separate lino plates would have made more sense for my design as the colour palette had to remain limited because of the reductive technique in forming the image.

Although I spent a fair amount of time experimenting with lino, and would be happy to use it again maybe in conjunction with other media, I was disappointed with the resulting prints. They lacked the precision they needed to work together as a series.

Hopes, Fears and Opportunities Part One.

Each year of university has been a completely different animal to handle. I feel that over the past two years I've overcome substantial hurdles and managed to tie myself up in knots, in almost equal amounts. First year provided a shed full of confidence, new techniques and skills, nurturing of existing skills and exciting opportunities. Second year consisted of two steps forward and one step back in my opinion. I excelled with set briefs and collaboration which were two of my biggest fears to begin with, but drifted into a minefield of identity based crisis'. I've learnt to separate normal fears from anxious worrying which has helped my productivity and self-motivational skills,

So starting third year I reserved three bags full of hopes, mainly to overcome my biggest demon, the concrete wall cemented between premise and product. For me, talking about my ideas, what i'm excited about and what gets my goat is a breeze, as is writing about it. Language is simple and I have no problem articulating what I have to say in this way. When it comes to technique I'm comfortable using paint, sculpture, photography, pen and paper, I am neither jack of all trades of master of one but I am satisfied I can create. However, what I am dissatisfied with, (well closer to horrifically frustrated with) is not being able to transfer my notes and ideas into something visual. My developmental process is entirely illogical, basically all over the place and on occassion non-existant. Working late into the night every few days works on a 'creatively fuelled purge' basis but not long-term. It puts me out of step for the remainder of the week, ruins my energy levels and affects my attendance. I've started with tackling my perception of the end result, and tried to divert my focus into the process and developmental stages of any project. I hope to build on this by using my knowledge and love of language into 'attachments' to blend the early stages and create a step-by-routine to enable the utilisation of my ideas. By applying the idea of 'little and often' to my working process, the pieces I create should progress contextually and leave me with a greater volume of work. If I can hone this into a habit I will have automatically opened doors for myself in terms of which briefs I can comfortably take on.

On a different note, I also hope to finish the course with a strength in technological software, i.e photoshop, illustrator, in-design etc which I previously thought a waste of time. I already happily enhance and edit my work on Photoshop and I have basic knowledge of In-design but now that I've set aside my differences with technology I feel it would be appropriate to strengthen my skills in this area so as not to restrict myself when I'm released into such a competitive industry.

As far as fears go, I'm guessing the most obvious answer is not achieving my hopes. I'm not terrified of failure though. In my eyes every time you fail at something, you fail better each time, as Churchill once said; "Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiam." So in place of being afraid of failure, i'd say my main fear is based on losing sight of what I'm striving for. Having no passion or goals to reach for, having nothing to say and an empty mind scares the hell out of me. Naturally I'm fearful of finishing University, after being safe and sound in education for has been my nightlight for twenty two years and although I'm no stranger to the world of work, I am quite aware becoming a successful illustrator does not get handed to you on a plate.

And of course, I'm a little bit scared of Gary.

Moving onto opportunities I would have to say that I'm really looking forward to working with Age UK again early next year. It was an emotional rollercoaster dealing with such a sensitive issue as dementia but entirely rewarding. The original brief was enjoyable to navigate and produce rich images for and after recently completing the third image for Age UK I am proud to say that early next year the pieces will be used in a publication and will become a possible selling point. Editorials are now an exciting opportunity for me especially as I get to see my work in context and it automatically sets me boundaries which my mind otherwise blurs. I have the pleasure of meeting with graduate Ben Jones for a portfolio viewing at the end of November which will hopefully give me an insight into the fast-paced world of editorial based briefs, as he has recently championed the New York Times.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Franz Kafka, Carl Plackman and Me.

“I am always trying to convey something that can’t be conveyed, to explain something which is inexplicable, to tell about something I have in my bones, something which can be expressed only in the bones.”

Written by German writer Franz Kafka, a quote to sum up the week, and basically the entirety of third year so far. Over summer I turned some corners, but it's definitely not enough. I've become more confident as a person and towards my work, I've focused on my weaknesses, took time to adapt my skills photographically and accessed new briefs outside of University. Yet, as I have been told on too many occasions, I still fail to connect what I say or write to my product. I don't attach meaning from the premise through development. I am not oblivious to this fact. It's incredibly frustrating for everyone involved and sounds horrendously cliche but I genuinely don't know how to express myself. I've suffered with severe anxiety for a number of years and always attempted to stop it affecting my life, of course constantly over-thinking mundane tasks is tiresome but it's never been a real problem until now. Feeling overwhelmed has stunted my productivity. I've come as far as to isolate what matters to me and what I have to say which I've struggled with for a long time now but I still feel paralyzed when it comes to taking the words and putting them into pictures. I'm beginning to doubt my ability in all areas of Illustration. I need to put the hours in, work out what needs to be said and what needs to be left alone and stop disappointing myself.

I know that success always comes after a struggle and I won't be beaten, but I'm terrified it'll take more than this year to achieve clarity. I've determined to move past this, and swiftly. Finding artist and photographer Carl Plackman has been a huge helping hand in understanding that awkwardness and feeling uncomfortable are not necessarily negative, that nothing is what it seems and what you find on the surface is usually related to something completely oppositional underneath. His works examines the communication and obstruction, using sham objects and animals as metaphor. 

Hung, Drawn and Quartered (1975)
Nine separate elements; Three drawings, three objects and three b/w photographic prints.

As he described: "No object in this world is neutral. In a sense they are embodiments of value systems which have been decided by others." So by each individual attaching meaning to the objects, a different narrative is written and projected through the drawings and installation. I want to be able to create with simplicity, for others to take something valuable from my work, or even just to spend ten minutes wondering after it.

Why Are Things The Way They Are?

Why are things the way they are? My mind is never satisfied and spending every day in a state of flux; awe, terror and wonderment, has left me frustrated this year. However, organising the rubble from the wealth, into a tangible alignment has helped an infinite amount. Level 4 helped me find my voice as an illustrator, developed my confidence when expressing ideas and honed my technique. Of course I knew from the beginning that the preceeding years would be the real test but entering second year I realised there was more to it than being taken out of my comfort zone or given briefs I had no real connection with. Struggles, successes and questions encountered over the course of Level Five have challenged me in ways I previously considered un-obstructive, being tested and pushed almost constantly has improved my time-scale awareness over time but ultimately left me frustrated, de-moralised and dis-satisfied. Coming to terms with my artistic flaws and inconsistant attendance has forced me to face lingering demons, personal and just downright stubborn. I feel the process of re-assessing my working method and attempting to climb out of my comfy little box has helped me to achieve clarity concerning the relationship between my influences and work.


Combining quotes and extracts (in my writing) from a handful of my favourite writers, poets and theorists highlights topics I feel most passionately about and reminded me what I have to give. Recognising my influences through either an overt or discreet lens strengthens the path between each element poured into content and captured image, placing any certified inspiration alongside my own work elevates confidence in not only my aspirations but my technical ability. The passion felt reading Bukowski or Keroauc is matched emotionally by viewing ‘Disaster’s of War’ by Laurie Lipton and ‘The Garden of Earthly Delight’s’ by Bosch, which breathes life into my pipe-dream of blending language and visual into something lasting, outside of my head. The majority of the questions and realisations I have voiced over the course of the year reflect this struggle, I know where I want to be and what I have to do to get there so now all I have to do is get on with it.


Concerning my work, themes circling animal form, behaviour and prevention of cruelty are contained within many of my drawings, which has been twisted over the last few years and mutated into the preservation and collection of the anatomy when mortality prevents the preservation of the living spirit. This, along with philosophical ideas of mimesis connected with anthropology and the more politically charged argument of excessive reproduction vs. the hideously expensive fine art industry will be developed through a Dissertation process later on in the year.






(Adapted from my Critical Perspectives Summary.)

Wisdom Teeth.

 

Last year i had awful problems with my wisdom teeth so decided that i'd commemorate getting through the end of year with a small tattoo. I managed to battle through the pain, do well in my final assessment and transfer back to York working for weeks in agony. It reminds me that even when you're at a low point, by having a focus, you can still achieve your goals.

 

So the small drawings above show my inital design and the photograph on the left is an image of my final tattoo, done by Wil Purnell of Black Tides, Acomb, York.

 

 

Poetree.

Over summer I took part in helping my dad save the local library in Barlby from being demolished. He now runs a volunteer group that work in the building and organise events for visitors of the library. Just before I moved back to Manchester I was asked to design a variety of tees to be installed and used as a creative exercise for children. Children visiting the library have the opportunity to create a 4 line poem, write it on a paper leaf (recylced paper may I add) and stick it to the tree.

When I was younger, Barlby Library was one of my favourite places and the first ever success I had as an 'artist' arose by winning the 'design a bookmark' competition aged 5. So as you can imagine I was delighted at being chosen to help continue the events, but as the designer!

The photographs above show the three different tree designs in their early stages.
 

Summer, Minus The Sunshine.

So apart from the fact i've worked almost every day this summer, i completely forgot to update this blog since my Tumblr account is my main focus. I think from now i'll try to use my Tumblr; http://www.wesleepintrees.tumblr.com/ for ideas, development and images of my work and this one for reviews, inspirational work by artists and other bits and bobs relevent to Stockport.