The Beach.

A visual interpretation of The Outsider by Albert Camus, focusing on the beach scene as the critical turning point.

'Beach Exposure 1'  35mm,Panoramic, Self-automated aperture.

'Beach exposure 2'  35mm, Panoramic, self-automated aperture, exposed.

"Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter." - Albert Camus.

In accordance with moral nihilism; killing someone, for whatever reason, is not inherently right or wrong. My focus on the beach scene illustrates how the 'turning point of the book' is only central in relation to human morality. I wanted to portray my work in a sequence; linear and almost repetitive, to reflect the regimented mentality of Mersault (focal character) and project his descent through the subtle variations of a singular symbol.

'In the midst of winter...invincible summer.'
2 X 35mm film, hand processed, ink.

With everything aesthetic; photographs, paintings and drawings, the tone is set and atmosphere changed by the lighting or colours used. I took the time to spend a day at Thornby beach taking test shots on a Panoramic 'Sprocket Rocket', stupidly without a tripod so a fraction of the photographs didn't turn out how i'd hoped, although the majority of the time this can make the photograph interesting. The first two photographs (Beach Exposure 1 and 2) were rigged on a spinning roll and taken identically, aside from the shutter speed which I managed manually. Decreasing the shutter speed by just over 5 seconds can darken an image by over 50% and completely change the aura emitted from the photograph.

Film strip developed from 35mm camera, sections cut and edited together.

I wanted to cut and edit film strips into a narrative, using seemingly unrelated film roll and everyday objects to portray the beginning, middle and end of the story. Selective use of chairoscuro would help to illuminate how Mersualt's physical needs got in the way of his emotions, which is easy to emphasise with film.

Franz Kafka, Carl Plackman and Me.

“I am always trying to convey something that can’t be conveyed, to explain something which is inexplicable, to tell about something I have in my bones, something which can be expressed only in the bones.”

Written by German writer Franz Kafka, a quote to sum up the week, and basically the entirety of third year so far. Over summer I turned some corners, but it's definitely not enough. I've become more confident as a person and towards my work, I've focused on my weaknesses, took time to adapt my skills photographically and accessed new briefs outside of University. Yet, as I have been told on too many occasions, I still fail to connect what I say or write to my product. I don't attach meaning from the premise through development. I am not oblivious to this fact. It's incredibly frustrating for everyone involved and sounds horrendously cliche but I genuinely don't know how to express myself. I've suffered with severe anxiety for a number of years and always attempted to stop it affecting my life, of course constantly over-thinking mundane tasks is tiresome but it's never been a real problem until now. Feeling overwhelmed has stunted my productivity. I've come as far as to isolate what matters to me and what I have to say which I've struggled with for a long time now but I still feel paralyzed when it comes to taking the words and putting them into pictures. I'm beginning to doubt my ability in all areas of Illustration. I need to put the hours in, work out what needs to be said and what needs to be left alone and stop disappointing myself.

I know that success always comes after a struggle and I won't be beaten, but I'm terrified it'll take more than this year to achieve clarity. I've determined to move past this, and swiftly. Finding artist and photographer Carl Plackman has been a huge helping hand in understanding that awkwardness and feeling uncomfortable are not necessarily negative, that nothing is what it seems and what you find on the surface is usually related to something completely oppositional underneath. His works examines the communication and obstruction, using sham objects and animals as metaphor. 

Hung, Drawn and Quartered (1975)
Nine separate elements; Three drawings, three objects and three b/w photographic prints.

As he described: "No object in this world is neutral. In a sense they are embodiments of value systems which have been decided by others." So by each individual attaching meaning to the objects, a different narrative is written and projected through the drawings and installation. I want to be able to create with simplicity, for others to take something valuable from my work, or even just to spend ten minutes wondering after it.

Daily Zen.

"One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things."
- Henry Miller.

1, 2, 3.

•Ben Templesmith:
Comic book author and illustrator, originally from Australia, living in New York.

‘Find something worth obsessing over, wrap your tentacles around it and don’t let go.’ 



•Scott Move:
Custom tattooist and illustrator, originally from London, living in London.

‘Be a nuisance. Show them you want to be heard and if they’re still not interested, pester them until they’ll give you a chance...even if they give you that opportunity on the chance you’ll fuck off and leave them alone afterwards, it’s still an opportunity.’


•Jadine Sara:
Wise 3rd Year Student, originally from York, living with me.
‘Just chill out and stop thinking so much. The more you think about how many things you have to produce, the less you’ll actually do. I’ll put the kettle on.’

You.

"You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner. You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single day. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and let the colours fill your mind."

- Anon.

Do things with passion or not at all.

“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”

—

L.M. Montgomery I can't decide wether i agree with this, i'm a big fan of inspirational quotes but i've never made my mind up on wether i'm a fan of mistakes or not. Everyone makes mistakes, we're only human, so i'm a firm believer that mistakes happen and inturn help you learn to collectively; not make the same mistake twice and better your ability when fixing (or accepting) the problem cuased by the mistake.