It's that time again, racing toward the end of the tunnel desperately trying not to stumble or flail or burst into tears. Except this time, this tunnel isn't just one within a succession of tunnels. Leaving this tunnel marks the culmination of education, the end of every routine procedure I've known for the past twenty two years. Gathering up every ounce of knowledge and confidence I've gained, applying them to the lessons i've learned and throwing the whole lot into the real world is more than one small step for girl. In one way I've been eager to step into the industry for over a year but I doubt the hungry momentum would have lasted. This year has been the slow and steady making and the fast and brutal breaking of me but as always I am full of hope, loaded with fear and embracing opportunity.
In part one I talked about how my hopes for third year encompassed overcoming the barrier I felt stood between my ideas and ability to communicate through illustration. The mental barricade between premise and product and the struggle to contextualise my images. I've become much more comfortable in myself and my ability, I'm not one hundred percent there but I think most creative people are a work in progress. I accept that. If you have nothing to strive for, no challenges or torment it would be almost impossible to improve and your work, stagnant. For me, the relationship between language and image will always be distorted, I will always struggle but every day little victories lead to a war being won. The grade I receive no longer holds the importance it once did, because leaving education is merely the beginning of my uphill hike and the past three years have equipped me with a sturdier survival kit. In terms of progress, sketchbooking has become enjoyable, messier and much more logical rather than a chore and a bore to navigate through. My working process and developments no longer amass dead ends and cliff faces, the journey represents a larger quantity than the destination and an amalgamation of techniques; watercolour, biro, fineliner and elements of rough collage have begun to seep through. I'm particularly happy with my resounding success in the technological department, harnessing photoshop as a relevant tool has sped up the editing process and allowed me to tidy up elements of my painting that I'm still not happy with, that I don't have time to re-do. Thanks to Illustrator my physical and PDF portfolio echo the professional appearance and layout of the Illustrators and artist's I've poured over. My hope to find a happy medium between hand-craft and digital has been fulfilled. Finding a healthier balance between university, work, life and sleep has also been extremely beneficial, for months I've suffered with severe headaches mostly due to anxiety, exhaustion and admittedly not wearing my glasses enough. Exercise, water and sleep are the best things to refresh a tired mind no matter how horrible you feel, I finally feel I can focus myself without having to write off a week for recuperation. Re-assessing my hopes over the year I would have to say that I hope the progress I've worked so hard for continues to build, I hope that my efforts to find whatever truth it is I have within spills out and that people understand, people want to contribute and to work with me. I would love to collaborate with as many people as possible, to create as much positivity as possible and to wonder, to learn, to always ask questions.
I'm no longer fearful of unfulfilled hopes because I know that whether it's these exact dreams or a variation of sorts, I will achieve them. I'm sure of what I class as successful, in a person or as a career. Happiness is the only constant I've come to recognise as a manifestation of success so far. However, an under-pining dread never dissapates, only transforms and weakens. The nauseous feeling that rises everytime i'm getting close to hitting a nerve within my work frightens the hell out of me along with the idea of losing passion for art, illustration or creativity in general. Therefore my residual fear is uninterupted, being at a loss for something to say.
Last but not least, opportunities. Opportunities present themselves in the most unlikely situation and I think that all should be taken. Whether the benefits are presented immediately or not; meeting one person, learning a new skill, having a helpful or a difficult day, visiting new places, earning some money or volunteering your expertise to assist another, you will almost always gain something. You can say no, be stubborn and get out of there at a later date if it doesn't go to plan but regrets are a huge creative drawback. I've gained invaluable opinion and advice on the pathway of my work and mind-set from close friends, peers, potential clients and employers and i'm happy to take any criticism I get. Fig Taylor asked me the usual, toe-scrunchingly frustrating question of 'what do you want to do?' and my answer, although still true in many ways, was 'whatever I can get my hands on'. Her advice was to guide my existing knowledge and natural enthusiasm for text into editorial pieces, start with set briefs that allow my mind to rest and my hands to work and move forward into intellectually challenging pieces that indulge both. I've taken recent opportunities to work with local bands, designing merchandise, album covers, promotional material and web content which is another way to contextualise my work and experience the different medium within products and advertising. I think the next step is evolving the way I hold myself as an Illustrator, finding a voice loud enough to promote myself and brand my illustration to keep to a specific audience whilst being accessible and versatile in content.
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| Taken from medinalind.com |
Looking at the bigger picture and I can't see myself working as a conventional Illustrator forever, I want to teach, stand up for what I believe in, in more ways than one. I would love to combine all my passions; for creative endeavors, coffee making, trade and music to be housed somewhere, for others to enjoy and contribute to. Being jack of a few trades, master of some sounds alright to me.